Tell Yourself This

Writer: Kym Kaisha Dechoson

We live in a world so obsessed with milestones and titles: the youngest, the fastest, the first, or the best. Even now, we've become so accustomed to waking up to overnight success stories and young prodigies on the news. There’s always someone new to look up to, someone fresh to envy, or someone else to admire. At one point, I looked through life with bitter lenses that only knew to compare. It became a habit for me to compete with people in my mind. And like many habits rooted in comparison, it slowly ate away at my peace. For some, that weight can grow heavier than words can carry. But habits can change. I realized it’s alright to go at my own pace — and that choice to be kinder to myself has saved me multiple times, in more ways than one.

Success is not set on a timeline, albeit by comparison making it seem that way. With so many talented people around the world, it’s easy to feel rushed, left behind, or even worthless. At 12, Mozart had already completed his first opera. By 16, Greta Thunberg had already been named Time’s Person of the Year and was leading climate strikes. Mark Zuckerberg launched Facebook from his college dorm room at 20. Meanwhile, here I sit in front of a computer, writing an essay. For a long time, that felt small. But learning to step away from comparison taught me this: their light does not dim mine, and their timeline is not mine to follow.

These days, like a mantra, I tell myself: growth has no deadline. It doesn’t matter if some are a year behind in school, or if a grandmother wants to learn piano at 82. We are inherently different, and so are our paths. That doesn’t make us less. In fact, even research shows we never stop growing; our capacity to learn and change continues well into our later years. I hold on to that truth ever so tightly. The pressures of comparison, the silence of despair, the belief that you’re not enough—these are heavy burdens. But they shouldn't be the end of the story.

As John Wooden once said, “Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” I’ve come to live by that. Replacing comparison with compassion didn’t just change my mindset; it changed how I live. I learned to accept I’m not Mozart. You’re not Greta. We’re not Zuckerberg. And that’s perfectly fine. At the end of the day, I may not be the youngest, the fastest, the first, or the best—I don’t need to be. I am enough, and I am growing, succeeding, and thriving, on my own time, in my own way. And so are you. So if today feels unbearably heavy, tell yourself this too: you are not behind, you are not alone, and you are not done.